Wake Up Patty, Nobody's Trying to Bed the Deer But You -- Recap Time

1/28/09



Mark's adventures take him to all sorts of naturey places and involve many different types of characters, but they all seem to follow a similar game plan. What we find ourselves mired in right now is a phase of that game not unlike a butterfly's struggle to emerge from the cocoon. Lots of new limbs and floundering, with few signs of progress. Initially, this phase may be interesting and new, but after 3 or 4 weeks, it gets boring, frustrating, makes you want to rip your teeth out, etc. Hopefully, we are nearing the end of this awkward introduction to the Saga of Patty. In that spirit, let's take a quick look back at what's happened so far.



No, Patty's not all right, Cherry. And it's got little to do with that sleeve's love affair with the booby part of her coat. A more devious problem lurks behind those blonde tresses. Something more unnatural and nefarious.

She totally wants to get stag-blasted by that baby man-deer, and her 'little friend' seems intrigued by the prospect. A third player has thrown his heart into the game, however. His name is

KEN

Scowly lumberman Ken is betrothed to Patty and easily the angriest man in Lost Forest. Patty's little deer friend appears to be the frontrunner for the blonde bombshell's affections, but Ken has advantages of his own. For starters, he doesn't shy away from honest discourse about his impotency...

What's more, his hands move quickly enough to disable an opponent without physical contact, offering him plausible deniability for numerous airslap assaults against his wife.

How can he be jealous? Stupid question, Patty. The man is the surliest ventriloquist in the Western Hemisphere...




...he's probably been jealous about matters less triffling than young bucks courting his wife.

So where does Mark fit into this love triangle? Find out in the next installment of "Recap: The beginning of the introduction to the Saga of Patty."

First Rule of Deer Adultery Club -- ALWAYS Hide the Water Dish

1/20/09

Cherry and Mark don't waste any time laying into Patty's frownie husband, dropping the "isn't very friendly" bomb well before they even step out of her featureless home. With space at a premium in today's rare four-panel installment, we can't get a firm grip on Mark's reaction to Ken's stern unfriendliness. If recent history is any indication, Mark's probably enjoying himself off-screen in Panel Two. He gets quite a kick out of not knowing much about his neighbors...

Meanwhile, the deer is out of the bag at the unknown neighbors' house. This may come as a shock, but irresponsibly angry husband Ken is not a big fan of his wife's pet buck. Will violence come of this? Preliminary swelling in Patty's head region says yes. Stay tuned.

Elrod Continues to Imply Beastiality

1/19/09

This isn't looking any better as days go by. Unexpected husbands, shooing a reluctant deer named "Bucky" out the backdoor in the nick of time, frowning....Elrod's doing his best to make this look worse than it probably is. I'm sick of making fun of it.

Mark can tell right away by his monosylabic answer that Ken is a horrible human being. Frowny Freddies with a touch of the ginger and a penchant for blue clothing don't sit well with our hero. Cherry is too turned on by Bucky's gaze to say much of anything.

That Guy an Accurate Reflection of How We Feel After Reading Mark Trail

1/17/09


Don't waste your breath, Mark. Everyone in Lost Forest knows Patty should've picked up a "pervin' all over a feral woodland creature" permit the day she ran into that fawn. Now she's in too deep, and full disclosure to the proper authorities may jeopardize the massive amount of company she's grown accustomed to over the past few months. Company as large as the children she never had. Cherry is obviously intrigued by the prospect of so much company; Mark's reaction is more curious and angular, littered with strange creases on the nose and brow.

Speaking of creased brows, holy crap that guy in the second panel is angrier than anyone I've ever seen. His forehead contains so much rage, the pressure has carved an impossible line into his temple. He frowns horizontally. That's pretty fucking irritated.

So who is this angry ambler? It could be one of those "wildlife people" Patty's worried about. It could also be her lumber-ing husband. Either way, someone's about to get punched.

The Trails Confront Patty the Only Way They Know How: On Horseback

1/16/09

Mark cuts an impressive figure on that white stallion, doesn't he? Clean jacket n' khaki combination, relentless posture. No wonder Patty, once skiddish and overly apologetic, now feels completely at ease and overly apologetic in his presence, even after he rides a horse into her backyard escorted by the electric-blue Cherry, arm fused to her hip like some kind of irritating, bubble-headed teapot.

Patty's intentions may not be as perverse as Elrod originally suggested. The jury's still out, though. She looks remarkably creepy with that shadowy buck by her side. Even Mark's horse is itching to bounce by panel two.

Patty's Robbing the Cradle! So Scandalous.

1/15/09

A few days ago, NLR read the fairly obvious tea leaves and concluded that Patty's issues centered around a love affair with some woodland creature. Today's installment confirms the speculation -- Patty is embroiled in a March-December inter-specie sex festival with a captivating young buck.

Elrod opened a door but closed several windows, and now we're left with more questions than ever. Why doesn't Patty talk about her husband? What manner of trouble is on her mind? And what's up with Cherry's imploding waist? Dita Von Teese got nothing on Mizz Trail. Except sex appeal. Intelligence and personality too, I imagine.

It's been a frustrating couple of weeks. The storyline is still opaque, but today's revelation is a step in the right direction. Your patience will be rewarded in due time--things are going to be okay. Just look at the relentless optimism emanating from our hero's face in panel one. Only Mark could take so much pleasure in not knowing something very well.

Meaningless Dialogue Almost too Expansive for the Meaningless Images that Surround It

1/14/09

What I hate most about Jack Elrod's style is the progression of time within the context of his medium. Let's face it, everyone's actions over the last week are justified. Patty should have left after Mark returned, and Cherry and Mark should seek out Patty after finishing up breakfast. Nobody's being impolite, overbearing, or unreasonable. All I'm wondering is why we have to be present for all of these fucking scraps of minutae. Three small panels at a time.

We didn't need to watch the Trails saddle up the horses for their woodsy ride. Do we need to see Doc holding up plate after plate of breakfast items? Do we need the constant references to Cherry's revolting haircut? We get it -- Mark's hair would look identical if he grew it out. Get a fucking story going here, dammit. I'm running out of things to make fun of.