Sunday, August 5, 2007

The End of Repetitive Days, Part 1: Sam Sets Herself Up for the Kidnapping of a Lifetime

July 20

Mark is pound-him-in-the-butt furious that Sam left to pursue overallphile Buzzard in his one-tone portable birdsprinkle unit, but there's no way Sam could've fumbled around pointlessly with the Trailster in the way. That tinge of excitement you feel in the back of your neck is not unwarranted: at this point, Sam is probably just decades away from being discovered by the redneck she fruitlessly pursues.

July 21

Decades turn to weeks overnight, as Startled Squirrel discovers Sam screaming to herself in panel two. If she was really pining for Mark to arrive before airport-has-most-flights time, it might have behooved her to wait for him, per the plan she concocted all by herself only 2 days before.

July 23

With her corneas unable to bear the onus of her ever-growing eyes, Sam fails to see Buzzard in her line of sight, putting an end to her loud snooping. The "missing dog" is a bad excuse; a more palatable ruse would sounded something like, "Oh, you frightened me...I'm busy hiding my gigantic orange neckerchief from the world with frightful shame."
Stay tuned for the next installment: Enter the Buzzard.

Nobody Loves Rusty Is Back in Action

So sorry to keep everyone waiting around for the gripping conclusion to birdstrike fuckjob 2007: the Lamest Story Ever Told, but I've been on vacation for the last two weeks, and, to make matters worse, my desktop's power source was destroyed by one of the vagabond electrical outages that plague rural Wyoming. Rest assured that everything is back to normal. Stay tuned for more unexciting but necessary action.