Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Crackers tha Perchin' Pelican Will Finally Kill Mark Trail in, I dunno, a Couple of Hours, Probably.

Nobody Loves Rusty is back. Anyone wondering why I stopped posting can turn to Skymall Product Review for answers. Then you can come back and be like, "wow, those aren't justifiable answers," but by the time you return I'll be gone. On with the saga.

So what exactly is going on here? Salty has an oddly shapped cap and Mark at his disposal, but in what we have to assume is a very predictable turn of events, the anticipation of cold, hard cash begins to eat away at the commarderie of this nefarious foursome. All the better that Crackers tha Perchin' Pelican is more familiar with the stall tactics of the hopelessly indebted than he is with traditional nesting grounds of his species, buying himself a "couple of hours" while he goes to get "half the money" from wherever the fuck it is Pelicans get money. Desperate as the measure seems, Crackers appears to have thought this through. After all, who's going to look for "well known guy" Mark Trail on a Shrimp Boat afloat on a lake in Minnesota?
Moreover, what's the backstory here? A quick glance at last week's action offers up some themes familiar to any follower of Mark's adventures:

Theme 1: Mark carries on a gender-muddled conversation with himself in the presence of others.

Theme 2: Local deviants with negative sideburns and no appreciation for a good woman's lovin' hire on as muscle for corporate ne'er-do-wells at less than scale.

Theme 3: Corporate, reverse-bottomed sexual interest tempts faithful Mark to stray after he teaches her about the importance of the wetlands, despite the fact that he totally had to save her from an Alligator in said wetlands.

Theme 4: Anthropomorphic critter lurks in the background waiting for it's chance to strike, confirming yet again that most-ironic constant in any Mark Trail saga: Mark saves animals for free while animals kill Mark for money.

Stay tuned. Thanks for righting the ship, Matt.

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