Monday, January 12, 2009

This Relentless Blathering Is Not Acceptable


Quit being such a sleepy-eyed drama queen and spill the beans, Patty. You've already wasted a week of our lives framing your dilemma; now it's time to share. No more tears. No more uninteresting backstory. Do it.

Look at all that fire in the hearth. Do you remember the fire?

Of course you don't. It wasn't there before. That is an unsolicited conflagration, Patty. Even fireplaces are anxious to hear your tale of pathetic woe. So speak your piece and let the khaki avenger figure out the rest. He won't stop punching rednecks until the problem is solved.


Julia Bensfield said...

I bet the fireplace and mantel are made of wood.

Josh said...

That chimney is wooden, right?

This fireplace strip disappointed me to no end, because I honestly thought Trail's house would burn down, killing all inside (this would take Elrod 15 days to depict). After all that, Andy, the sole survivor, would address the readers and give a For Better or For Worse-type epilogue, "Well, we've had fun here. How would we do it all over again? Come back next week to find out!"